FULL CAST
Squarerob

by Matt

Divider
1/7 A picture of Rob holding a spatula.

Rob is the main character of the Squarerob universe.He works at the local McDonald's rip-off restaurant, the Sweaty Carp. He cooks fish there. Yeah. Anyway, he's also best friends with Bert, and tortures Squid on a daily basis. This is normal behaviour for Rob. He is yet to answer for his crimes.



Bert is Rob's best friend.
Yes, that's the only character trait he has. He became a triangle purely because he's THAT one dimensional.


2/7 A realistic depiction of Bert, being as dumb as ever.
3/7 A .png file of Squid, the hottest character in the Squarerob universe, wearing a t-shirt.

Squid is the coolest of them all. That's an objective fact.With a successful music career, a very neat little garden with little plants and such and a small tiny pond like awee, and FIVE Burger King restaurants, Squid has become the hottest man alive.
There is no other way to describe him.



Sand is your average Detroit citizen.She supplies Rob with fish to cook. On another note, the police have yet to connect her to the disappearances of thousands of fish.



4/7 A picture of Sand waving.
5/7 The only photograph ever taken of of Greed, standing menacingly.

Greed is a money-hungry crab guy crab man.He owns the Sweaty Carp, and is canonically a Discord catboy. (please don't ask how that works)
He previously scammed millions of Twitter idiots with his $crab coin out of hundreds of thousands of dollars and is currently wanted for financial fraud in 113 countries.
19-11-2024 update: It's 114 now.
03-02-2025 update: 121. Surprisingly, none of them are the US of A.



Ant hasn't showered since 2005. So aside from inciting a riot purely by existing around people, he hasn't committed any crimes.
He likes to be stepped on by goth girls.
In the '80s, Ant owned a competing restaurant to Greed's named Wham! Barrel but it was shut down after a lengthy legal dispute with a music duo.



6/7 A picture of Ant taken using a microscope. He's just standing there... fucking weirdo.
7/7 A picture of the most entitled creature in the Squarerob universe, STALE.

STALE is a entitled piece of shit and deserves nothing but to writhe in pain from hunger. But, that idiot, that DUNCE, Rob still feeds him.STALE's name must be screamed as that's how it's pronounced. Any attempt on mispronouncing STALE will be dealt with by Twitter cancellation.